Touched by an Angel Sucks

Touched by an Angel Sucks Big Green Donkey Dick

And I’m not afraid to say it. Cal Thomas has an article about the show and its final few episodes, basically lauding it as a masterwork of TV splendor, or some such. That’s the tough thing about being a Jewish conservative; you sometimes have to wade through “Jesus is just all right with me, Jesus is just all right, oh yeah” articles written by fellow (non-Jewish) conservatives if you want to stay informed as to current opinion. I hasten to add that I don’t get my opinions from others; I form them myself from what President Bush and John Ashcroft tell me to think. Ha, ha. One of my favorite Jewish conservative columnists is Dennis Prager, but he tends to get a bit preachy from time to time, as well. I like to think of myself as didactic, but I generally hit “pontificating,” which is as high as I’m able to go (hence the subtitle of this blog).

My all-time favorite movie is The Prophecy, starring Christopher Walken. It portrays angels in a far more biblical manner than the “Jesus’s little helpers” version that you generally see in modern media. What do angels do in the bible? They kill. Sometimes they bring news, generally bad. They even used to sleep with human women back in the Genesis days (and I don’t mean Phil Collins Genesis). That’s the angels I like. Most people don’t rate a visit from Himself, so He simply gives a minion the job of kicking ass, and they’re only too happy to do it.

I suppose one of the reasons that I find shows like Touched by an Angel so offensive is that they not only get the notion of angels wrong, but they perpetuate the concept that religion is a crutch for people who would not otherwise be able to get through the day without angelic/divine intervention. Things sometimes get very very bad for people, but they ride it out without Valerie Bertinelli putting her well-manicured fingers into the pie, so to speak. People also do extremely bad things without needing David Ogden Satan to give them hints on how to be really evil. Who cares if the stupid show’s wholesome? If I want wholesome, I’ll read C.S. Lewis. There’s a thinking man’s Christian.

Bottom line: I don’t believe in angels. The God I believe in is, by definition, omnipotent. Hence, he doesn’t need servants, winged or otherwise. When you start having patron angels and personal saints and stuff, you end up in polytheism, where there’re a million little godlings, each maintaining its own sphere of influence, with the concept of a true God becoming redundant in all the micromanaging of the universe. I’ll bet the average Touched by an Angel watcher doesn’t get that far in his thinking, but I could be wrong.