The darkness of the room, relieved by brief, dim flickers of intermittent light from various multicolored buttons and dials, gives one the impression of vastness despite the relative smallness of the surroundings. The pine air freshener doesn’t completely cover the aroma of cigarettes and corn chips.
“We on yet?”
“In ten seconds.”
“Rats.” A deep drag, and an exhale into the microphone.
“Welcome back to All Covers Weekend at KCAT, where the fur flies 24/7. You’ve just been listening to a double shot of Sisu, doing Toby Keith’s ‘Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue,’ and Jethro Tull’s ‘Fat Man.’”
Another deep drag, and then the barely-audible crunch of a cigarette butt being ground into an ashtray. It’s shaped like the rear end of a Doberman.
“Before we get back to the music, I’d like to thank some of the sponsors of tonight’s show. First, if your house has been plagued by flies lately, you need BoxStockRacer’s Auto-Tracking Self-Propelled Flycatcher. Every household should have one. Or two.”
A pause. The flick of a lighter.
“Got kittens? You need Mind of Mog’s Rug Shampooer. Better than Bissel, at half the price.”
Hissing off-mike from the producer’s box: “Don’t forget the news feed!”
A brief pause. “Well, it’s almost the top of the hour, so let’s get a news update from Trish Wilson.”
*click* “Sorry. Always forget the news feed. Hey, didja see that new movie from bloggg?”
“I’ll wait for DVD. I heard the script was good. Back on in ten.”
“Okay, thanks for the news. We’ve got lined up, let’s see…Watermark doing The Who’s ‘Who Are You,’ Meryl Yourish grooves with the Grateful Dead’s ‘Breadbox’, and She Who Will Be Obeyed wows us with Glenn Frey’s ‘Who’s Been Sleeping in My Bed.’”
Once the CD’s are loaded, he takes another drag, looking at the collection of family photos on the desk in the dim light. Agog’s a pretty darn good photographer, he muses as the music rolls on. Just as the last song ends, he gets a thumbs-up.
“We’ll be right back with Feste…a Fool’s Blog doing ABBA’s ‘Sitting in the Palm Tree’…” A pause. “Hey, I don’t choose the songs here, I just announce ‘em. And Amish Tech Support keeps us rockin’ with Joe Walsh’s ‘Rocky Mountain Way.’ Couldn’t get much higher on All Covers Weekend, KCAT.”
A drag, a puff. “I might check out what the Mad Macedonian’s got cooking at Sneakeasy’s Joint later on. The bouncer’s a friend of mine. Or maybe dinner and a movie. I hear Sisu’s got some new flick named ‘Having a Ball.’”
“From music videos to full-length features. Huh.”
“Yeah.” He listens to a commercial for Ego’s Caterpillar Footwear and yawns, waiting for the last song to play out.
“Good stuff, good stuff all ’round. Get ready to rock with AMCGLTD doing a killer cover of Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Brilliant Disguise.’”
He stubs out another cigarette as the music kicks in. “Spot me a minute. I’m going to Mickey D’s.”
“Wait. What about the contest winner?”
“Oh. It was Feste…a Fool’s Blog. He should email us with where we can mail him a free copy of The Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie Handbook.” He walks out.
Thanks to everyone who contributed to the Carnival! Next week’s Carnival (#7) will be hosted at its original site, Amish Tech Support!