New RNC Chair Michael S. Steele Seeks “One Armed Midgets”

Its “off the hook:”

Newly elected Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele plans an “off the hook” public relations offensive.   The RNC’s first black chairman will “surprise everyone” when updating the party’s image using the Internet and advertisements on radio, on television and in print, he told The Washington Times. To those who claimed he can’t make the trains run on time, he has this message: “Stuff it.”

”There was underlying concerns we had become too regionalized and the party needed to reach beyond our comfort” zones, he said, citing defeats in such states as Virginia and North Carolina. “We need messengers to really capture that region – young, Hispanic, black, a cross section … We want to convey that the modern-day GOP looks like the conservative party that stands on principles. But we want to apply them to urban-surburban hip-hop settings.”

But, he elaborated with a laugh, “we need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.”

Mr. Steele said the national Republican leadership, with its emphasis on party discipline rather than developing a strong nationwide bench of candidates, put the party in the mess it now finds itself, most acutely in the Northeast.  “We missed the mark in the past, which is why we are in the crapper now,” he said.

Stuff it in the crapper!  Go off the hook!  TOUCHDOWN!