April 2014
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The Bacon Doughnut Experiment #1

Previous posts about bacon doughnuts can be found here and here.

I thought it’d be interesting to actually eat a bacon doughnut rather than just talk about them.  What follows is a documentation of my experiences doing it.

Because I don’t live anywhere bacon doughnuts can be easily found pre-made, I had to make one myself.  The first thing I did was get some bacon and prepare it for the microwave:

Hormel bacon-flavored bacon

While cooking the bacon on HIGH for 2.5 minutes, I prepared a maple doughnut purchased at the supermarket:

King Soopers makes pretty good doughnuts, though I haven't eaten a doughnut in months.

 I purchased a few other doughnuts for later consumption with bacon.  Once the bacon was done cooking, I took it out of the microwave:

I'd rather overcook it than undercook it.

I’ll admit that the bacon here is a little overcooked; next time, I’ll cook it for two minutes and check the doneness.  Next thing was to put a half-slice of bacon on the doughnut and cook it in the microwave for approximately 15 seconds to fuse the two together and keep the bacon from hopping off:

Think about it: I'm about to eat bacon.  On a doughnut.

After that, there was nothing to do but take a bite.  It was very tasty: the sweetness of the maple frosting on the doughnut played nicely against the saltiness of the bacon, and the crisp crunch of the bacon added a nice texture to the soft dough of the pastry:

I hope people won't try to take a cast of my teeth to use in biting attacks on others.

The next experiment will deal with a differently-flavored doughnut and more bacon.   Nevertheless, I was encouraged by the gustatory experience such that I ate the rest in short order:

One bite left!  I didn't see the point of taking a picture of an empty plate, but take it on faith that I finished it.

So, bacon doughnuts exist.  They taste good.  I will eat further bacon doughnuts.

Thank you.

7 comments to The Bacon Doughnut Experiment #1

  • Joshua

    Bacon-pastries (there is no such thing as a bacon-donut) are the short-road to Heck. Repent of your bacon-sins and hurl what you ate into the toilet. Then, ask for Forgiveness.

    Just out of curiosity, what other types of donuts do you plan to turn into bacon-pastries? How about a peanut-butter-bacon-pastry? Or a boston-kreme-bacon-pastry? Have you considered adding hash-browns and a coffee to the bacon-pastry eating experience? I suggest you ball-up the bacon-pastry with the hash-browns and then dunk the salty-mass into a bowl of coffee. Let it soak for about two minutes and then stuff it into your mouth. That way, you can be done with breakfast in record time and be on your way to work with a full stomach and caffeine in your system.

  • It’s a bacon doughnut, numbnuts. That’s the term. You’re the only ‘tard out there who refuses to accept the term bacon doughnut.

  • Joshua

    It’s bacon-pastry, dumbballs. That’s the proper term. You are the singular mentally-challenged handicap out there who does not see eye-to-eye with the term bacon-pastry.

  • It’s a bacon doughnut, you shriveled horse testicle. The proof of widespread use of the term “bacon doughnut” is out there on Google:

    http://www.google.com/search?q=“bacon doughnut&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7DKUS

    And here’s the term “bacon donut” for those who can’t properly spell “doughnut”:

    http://www.google.com/search?q=“bacon donut&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7DKUS

    Only 601 hits for the totally retarded term “bacon-pastry”:


    And not one of them makes mention of doughnuts. I know because I checked.

    Now go park yourself under a horse’s anus with all the other dimbulbs calling bacon doughnuts “bacon-pastries.”

    {o}—-> You

  • Joshua

    I will not stoop to your low-level of name-calling, especially since you have no idea what a donut is. And that “drawing” you made is incomprehensible and I won’t spend another hour trying to figure it out.

    Bacon-pastries, not bacon-donuts.

    BTW, I just put “bacon pastries” into google and got over 1500 hits. http://www.google.pl/search?hl=en&q=“bacon pastries”

    Bacon donuts only have 2000 hits, a mere 500 more, and most of those hits are from low-level, second tier web-sites with .net and .whatever after them.

  • A mere 500 more, indeed.

    From now on, people will do searches on “anyone who calls bacon doughnuts bacon-pastries is a retard” and will find this website.


    Thank you.

  • Joshua

    I just checked google on “anyone who calls bacon doughnuts bacon-pastries is a retard” and there are no results.