April 2014
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Spinach Flu Goes International

O, Canada!

A Canadian woman was recently hospitalized after eating spinach from the United States tainted with E. coli bacteria, a food inspection agency spokesman said.

The strain killed one woman and made 172 people ill in 25 US states in recent months, prompting a massive dumping of spinach from store shelves throughout the continent.

“We’ve found a case of E. coli from the United States and someone has become sick from it here,” Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA) spokesman Marc Richard told AFP. “It’s been confirmed through DNA testing.”

“The Ontario woman first experienced symptoms in early September which means the spinach was probably eaten in late August,” he said. “She has since been released from hospital.”

I’m glad to hear she’s all right, but dismayed that it appears as though this tainted spinach has become an international weapon of mass destruction. How long until France and Germany invade the U.S. in an attempt to make us disarm? And by disarm, I mean “defoliate the spinach fields.” Is tainted spinach now an imminent threat to other law-abiding countries?

And if this is indeed Bush’s fault, how long until he can be brought to trial in the International Criminal Court?

2 comments to Spinach Flu Goes International

  • Morgan

    The United Nations has to step and create an international panel to stop the problem with their usual insightful rhetoric. It can be called the International Spinach Control Agency (ISCA) and it should be headed up by that Hugo Chavez since he is such a take-charge kind of guy. To make sure that it has the power to get the job done, Chavez should be granted the license to execute anyone at will for spinach crimes against humanity.

  • Joshua

    I second that motion to put Chavez in an international position to prosecute spinach related crimes. Of course, the U.S. does not recognize the ICC and Bush and his cronies will escape prosecution once again.

    I would like to take this moment to apologize to Canada.

    I’m sorry.