April 2014
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Movie Review: Munich

I wish I could say that despite its horribly miscalibrated moral compass, sickeningly fictionalized history, and left-wing Israel Delenda Est agitprop, Munich was an entertaining film. It’s not. It’s overlong, tiresome, and mind-numbingly didactic. It’s Noam Chomsky telling you to eat your vegetables; there are starving people in Palestine, don’t you know. There are two things to like about the film: Ciar?n Hinds, who played an assassin named Carl; and the occasional deaths of the Palestinians who orchestrated the murder of the Israeli athletes.

The best way to describe how screenwriter Tony “I wish modern Israel hadn’t been born” Kushner and director Steven “Meeting Fidel Castro was the eight most important hours of my life” Spielberg really think about Israel’s right to self-defense is to tell you about the climax of the film (so to speak): interspersed with scenes of Eric Bana having sex with his wife are scenes of the Israeli athletes being shot to death and blown up with hand grenades. It’s a big “fuck you” to Israel, the athletes’ families, and everyone else who doesn’t think that the Israelis and Palestinians occupy the same moral ground. You’re not missing anything in this movie that you haven’t already seen on al-Jazeera. Don’t waste your money.

Debbie Schlussel’s likewise negative review of the film says it better than I do.

I give it a Waterglass Rating of 14%.

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