Aggie and I had to buy some things for our upcoming nuptials, so we of course went to Flatiron Crossing, from which you can buy anything at a (high) price. Here are some unconnected thoughts regarding the trip:
1) There’s no mistaking German tourists: very tall, very white, and very plump. Aggie opined that they could have been from Arkansas until they opened their mouths. It’s possible that one of them was Augustus Gloop.
2) The mall is a great place to go on Memorial Day weekend, apparently, because it wasn’t anywhere near as crowded as usual.
3) Buying huaraches at DSW, I saw a girl wearing low-rise jeans bend over on the fitting bench to get into her shoes, and was treated to a view of not only her dorsal cleavage, but, well, most of her rear end. It was like a catastrophic case of carpenter’s crack, but with the added bonus of a tattoo of a Chinese ideogram near the top (presumably, the ideogram did not mean, “aim here”). I had to look away.
4) I’m apparently the tallest man in my home city, because Target didn’t have more than one pair of khakis in my size.
5) The movie Super Size Me had such an effect on me that at the food court, I didn’t even look at the McDonald’s stand, not even wistfully at the french fries. Aggie and I both went for Subway.
Since 99.9% of our readers probably don’t know what a hurache is, including me, I looked it up in the on-line Oxford English dictionary:
huaraches “A leather-thonged sandal, orig. worn by Mexican Indians.
…1963 C. BEALS Latin Amer. (1964) i. 11 Guarache sandals shuffled like a storm of autumn leaves.”
Did you have to look up “dorsal cleavage?”
If you google “dorsal cleavage,” the Waterglass is the third website that’s listed. There are 44 total.
The nearest I saw was:
1. Dagenham cleavage
Highly visible bum cleavage popularised by East End geezers on building sites across the UK, predominately in London. More commonly known as a ‘builder’s bum’.
He had a Dagenam cleavage six inches long above his jeans.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dagenham+cleavage