Aggie and I had to buy some things for our upcoming nuptials, so we of course went to Flatiron Crossing, from which you can buy anything at a (high) price. Here are some unconnected thoughts regarding the trip:
1) There’s no mistaking German tourists: very tall, very white, and very plump. Aggie opined that they could have been from Arkansas until they opened their mouths. It’s possible that one of them was Augustus Gloop.
2) The mall is a great place to go on Memorial Day weekend, apparently, because it wasn’t anywhere near as crowded as usual.
3) Buying huaraches at DSW, I saw a girl wearing low-rise jeans bend over on the fitting bench to get into her shoes, and was treated to a view of not only her dorsal cleavage, but, well, most of her rear end. It was like a catastrophic case of carpenter’s crack, but with the added bonus of a tattoo of a Chinese ideogram near the top (presumably, the ideogram did not mean, “aim here”). I had to look away.
4) I’m apparently the tallest man in my home city, because Target didn’t have more than one pair of khakis in my size.
5) The movie Super Size Me had such an effect on me that at the food court, I didn’t even look at the McDonald’s stand, not even wistfully at the french fries. Aggie and I both went for Subway.